Thinking about this whole 12-12-12 business got me thinking about how close we are to 2013. Which of course got me thinking about how fast this year going by. Lately I have really been stressing out about my plans for the winter and spring portion of the gap year, and thinking about how close we are to the new year only added the pressure.
Then, since it's almost the holiday season, my friends will be coming back from school ready for a well needed break. They have spent this past weak studying hard and finishing up their first semester, and I am just here. Ready to greet them. That though gives me a severe feeling of inadequacy. I feel as though I copped out of doing that kind of academic work. I have never been one to do that, so it has been very weird for me to not be doing anything in that academic sense.When the teacher said read this and write about it, I did, no questions asked, so I guess it is only natural to feel as though I should be doing something.
So here I was worrying myself over this and researching apartments in Finland (Nothing definite on that yet, but a plan is coming together) during this past very rainy weekend, when yesterday-WHAM! Epiphany. Well actually more like reality slap.
Last night my family and I went over to have dinner at the house of some very good friends of ours. Their son and I went to elementary school together and have always been really good friends. He too is doing a gap year, only he does not have the safety net of knowing where he is going to school next year. And yet, he is following his passion of web design and just living and experiencing his gap year without feeling guilty for being self aware and taking time to just relax and grow (as I had been doing so much lately). Having dinner with them just talking, laughing, and discussing everything from Adele to Siri to gap year plans reminded me why I chose to take a year off.
I had been loosing faith in my choice, and yesterday I just realized that it was totally crazy. As my friend said, "Be a student of life and all it's nuisances. It is far more valuable than any education an institution can give." (I took that from his twitter, but I give credit where it is due). That quote is incredibly true. From what I have experienced so far from my gap year (which has been comprised of mostly working) is that life can indeed be nuisance. Day to to day that same repetition can be boring and bland. But it's something you have to do. And the trick is to just enjoy it and make the best of the day.
Before I start to ramble on too much, my point is that I found renewed faith in my gap year choice thanks to a visit with an old friend. Even though at times it may seem as though I may not been doing much, I know that day to day I am indeed learning, even it's not E=MC2.
I leave you with this inspirational quote of the day that perfectly relates to how I feel right now.
"It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see."
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